Quest
by The Sacred and Profane
Summary: Tifa and Reno are sent hurling through time. How will they get back? ReTi oneshot for ToWriteLoveOnHerArms08.


Quest

AN: I own nothing in this story. This is for ToWriteLoveOnHerArms08 so enjoy! Please R&R.

Tifa walked into the living room, an amused smile on her face as she watched Reno fiddle around with the television.

"It's been a few hours Re, I think you need to call a professional." Reno stuck his head out from the mass of wires, eyes narrowed.

"I can get it, it just needs a little more tinkering." Tifa rolled her eyes at his stubborn nature and approached him, a hand resting on his shoulder.

"Take a break at least." Reno nodded but before he could untangle himself from the Gordian knot of wires or Tifa could remove her hand from his shoulder, lightning struck the house. Electricity crackled and covered both the Turk and his girlfriend before dissipating, the couple gone as well.

* * *

Tifa groaned as she opened her eyes, the view that met her eyes being blue sky. She was lying on her back in some kind of field. She heard another person groaning on her right. Looking that way, she saw Reno beside her, the red head blinking rapidly against the sunlight beaming down from overhead.

"Where are we?" Reno asked as he sat up. There were no buildings around them and the only sign of civilization was the dirt road curving this way and that until it vanished from sight.

"I have no idea but nothing will be solved by staying here," Tifa answered. They helped each other to their feet then and the two started walking down the road.

Thirty minutes of walking had gotten them nowhere and the road still stretched on and on.

"Remind me never to complain about cars again," Reno said. Tifa just laughed and kept on walking.

Suddenly they heard someone shouting for help up ahead. Running forward, the pair saw a robed figure trapped beneath a large stone. Just as the pair reached the stone and tried to move it, they heard two voices giggling.

"You fell right into our trap!"

"Yeah and now..." The robed figure removed their robe, revealing a pale young woman with dark hair and eyes. A crossbow was leveled at Reno and she smirked. A blond haired young woman suddenly appeared from around the stone, her crossbow aimed at Tifa.

"Give us all your gold!" both cried. Reno and Tifa's eyes widened for standing in front of them were the spitting images of Elena and Yuffie.

"Loose your tongues simpletons or we'll loose them for you," the dark haired woman threatened.

"Um...listen Yuffie, we don't have any gold," Reno said. The dark haired woman blinked a little before cocking her head to the side.

"Yuffie? What strange name is that? I am Yufia and this is my sister Elera."

"Now stop stalling and give us your gold!" Elera spoke up.

"We honestly don't have any," Tifa said. Elera and Yufia kept their crossbows aimed at the couple while conversing quietly with each other.

"This is the fifth time such misfortune has befallen us," Elera pointed out.

"I know but if we don't get enough gold you'll never be free from the curse," Yufia shot back.

"Maybe one of them can go fetch us the cure and then we wouldn't have to pay the wizard to change you back."

"That's a wonderful idea, let's do it." The two sisters nodded and turned their attention back to their hostages.

"We've changed our minds. One of you will have to come with one of us on a little trip," Yufia said.

"What kind of trip?" Reno asked.

"The dangerous kind. It will be arduous and you might come back a bit different but it's either that or the both of you die right now, understand?" Reno and Tifa nodded. "Now which one of you shall undertake the journey?"

Reno was about to volunteer when Tifa raised her hand.

"Tifa, I was going to- but Tifa cut him off with a look.

"I know but I'm in the mood for some stress relief. I'll be back before you know it." She kissed him on the lips before breaking apart and looking to Yufia. "I'm ready." The bandit nodded and motioned for her to follow after Elera.

"She'll lead you to your destination. If anything happens to her, he will suffer, you have my word," Yufia said in the most serious of tones. Tifa's eyes narrowed and her fist clenched.

"Likewise," the bartender growled, gesturing towards her boyfriend. Yufia and Elera gave each other a farewell hug before both went with their assigned hostage.

As Reno watched Tifa and Elera vanish into the distance, he sighed.

How was he going to pass the time with this bandit?

* * *

Tifa and Elera had been walking for several miles when the barmaid suddenly spoke up.

"Where exactly are we going and what are we looking for?"

"We're heading towards Castle Jenova to find a potion to remove the curse I am currently under. It was set there by the wizard Sephi and he is the lord of said castle," the blond answered.

"You're cursed?" Elera nodded. "Just great, I end up in some crazy fantasy version of the past, get kidnapped and have to fight a wizard, what did I do to deserve this?"

"If you would stop your whining we could press on and find a way to send you back whence you came," Elera pointed out. Tifa sighed and nodded.

"By the way what's your curse exactly?"

The sun was dipping below the horizon and Elera pointed to it.

"You'll find out when the sun sets."

* * *

The wizard Sephi was just settling into his cherry scented bubble bath when one of his servants barged into the door.

"Lord Sephi, Lord Sephi, terrible news!" Sephi raised a silver eyebrow, his cat like green eyes glaring at the servant.

"Do tell Aeris," he said in a rich baritone. Aeris straightened out her dress and nodded.

"The birds and other spies have reported that Elera's coming towards the castle with an unknown woman. What should we do?!"

Sephi sighed in exasperation and rubbed his temples.

"You, Cloudo, and Zak prepare to meet the intruders. Have Cloudo guard the main gate, you guard the potion room, and Zak guard the library, understand?" Aeris nodded and bowed before leaving. Sephi lay back in his bubble bath and grabbed his favorite rubber ducky Mr. Quacky.

"Mr. Quacky, it seems we'll have a bit of fun before the evening's done with," Sephi said to the toy. He started to cackle then, the sound echoing throughout his sparkling clean bathroom as he started to play with his bath toys.

* * *

Tifa was staring at a gold chocobo, the creature staring at her with Elera's brown eyes.

"Don't just WARK stand there! Get on my back and we'll continue on our way!" the giant bird said. Tifa nodded and climbed on. Flapping her wings, Elera took to the sky.

"So...what's it like?" Tifa asked.

"Annoying. You try explaining to your lover why you've turned into a chocobo just as you're about to make love. And the WARK urge to eat greens is not pleasant."

"Sounds rough..." Tifa said. Elera rolled her eyes to the heavens and continued flying.

"We'll reach Sephi's castle in a few hours so be prepared KWEH."

"Alright..."

* * *

A few hours later Tifa saw the gray colored walls of Castle Jenova. The castle itself looked odd, being covered in posters of Sephi's face. In fact it didn't look at all menacing.

"You really needed my help to break into that?" Tifa asked. Elera didn't reply right away, instead shooting towards the ground and alighting neatly. Tifa got off and was about to move forward when Elera stopped her with a glare.

"Do not blindly rush forward in a wizard's lair."

"You should listen to your feathered friend my lady," a voice called out. Tifa turned around and saw a spiky haired man with a sword strapped to his back.

"Cloud...what are you doing here?" The man cocked his head to the side at her question.

"Cloud? I'm Cloudo and the knight of this domain. Turn back now or your lives will be forfeit!"

Tifa should have known it wouldn't be Cloud but it looked almost exactly like him. He whistled then and a horse galloped from the gates, nuzzling Cloudo's shoulder.

"Fenrir my steed. Once again we shall ride into battle," Cloudo said, climbing onto Fenrir's back. "Have at thee!" Then he was riding towards them, the very wind seeming to part for the knight. Tifa climbed onto Elera's back and kicked her feathered side.

"OW! Don't KWEH kick me!"

"Just gallop towards him and don't stop!" Tifa yelled back. Elera did as she was told and Tifa braced herself. Just before Cloudo was ready to strike as they passed, Tifa leaped off Elera's back and landed behind Cloudo.

"What trickery is this- but Tifa chopped the back of his neck, the spiky haired warrior falling unconscious. Bringing Fenrir to a halt, she got off, leaving Cloudo where he sat.

"Now let's get that cure," Tifa said. Elera's eyes were wide but she followed after the barmaid.

"Wherever those two are from, she must be the barbarian queen," the chocobo said quietly.

* * *

The inside of Castle Jenova was just as odd as the outside. Staircases became flat ground and everywhere one looked there were busts of Sephi along with a multitude of portraits portraying the wizard in different roles. Tifa even saw one where he was dressed as a woman.

"Elera, which way do we go?" The chocobo thought for a moment before gesturing to the right. This led them to a pair of large double doors.

"It's in here. And be careful none of the potions get on you or you'll end up changed." Tifa nodded and opened the doors. They were met with a petite woman who had her tiny fists clenched. Her long brown hair which was styled into a single braid moved as she stomped towards them.

"Aeris, servant to the great Lord Sephi, will not let you pass!" But Tifa walked past her and turned to Elera.

"What's the cure look like?"

"Don't ignore me!" Aeris yelled. Tifa looked at the pink clad woman and chuckled.

"Or what? You'll sic your singing birds on me?" Aeris's face turned red at the barb.

"That's it! I asked politely but now I'll show you my deadliest form for battle!" She clasped her hands together and murmured a prayer under her breath, white light surrounding her body. It blinded Tifa and Elera temporarily and when it dissipated the two found themselves staring at a tiny kitten with wide green eyes.

"This is your...deadliest form?" Tifa said, giggles starting to escape her lips. Elera started laughing as well. Aeris the kitten dashed forward then, scratching Tifa's leg. "OW! You little furball I'll drown you!" But as she struck back, her elbow hit one of the tables sending a potion to the ground. The green colored liquid soon touched Tifa's skin and the fighter's body started shaking.

"What's happening to- but she was cut off as she started to shrink. The tables started to look like skyscrapers and her skin felt really weird. When Tifa stopped shrinking she realized she was looking up at Aeris's whiskered face. She tried to speak but a frog's croak came out. "RIBBIT, I'm a RIBBIT frog!"

"Yes and now you're mine!" Aeris said, lashing out with a paw. Tifa hopped away as best she could, the motion seeming more natural by the second. Elera tried to help her but the cat was too fast and soon Tifa was caught. Aeris meowed in triumph and dashed out of the room.

The chocobo looked at the potions sitting on the tables all around her and to the exit Aeris had just taken. But soon she gave a sigh and started looking through the potions. Finding the right one, she gulped it down as best she could. Her feathers molted off, leaving pale human skin and when she had finished, the blond was back to normal.

Albeit naked as the day she was born.

"First some clothes and then I had better aid that crazy woman," Elera said aloud.

* * *

Lord Sephi was sitting in his throne room, going through some assistant applications when Aeris came padding up to him, a green toad in her mouth.

"Maswer, I'wve caught the intruwder!"

"Don't talk with your mouth full of transformed human, Aeris, how many times must I tell you?" Aeris spat out Tifa the toad and hung her head.

"Sorry Master..." Sephi gave her a forgiving smile and patted his lap. Aeris jumped up and started purring as he stroked her back.

"It's alright. You have done well unlike the puppy or that bumbling oaf Cloudo." Tifa started to hop away when she felt a force lift her up and drag her towards Sephi.

"Now what have we here?" He closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them, a smirk was on his face. "Tifa Lockhart I presume? And obviously not from this time period."

"Let me RIBBIT go!"

"Feisty...I like that. And why should I let you go when you've aided a foolish chocobo who refused to be my wife?"

"I was forced to!" Tifa shot back.

"Oh I know but we could use another toad around here. The flies are becoming a nuisance." Tifa croaked once more, this time in fear. She didn't want to spend the rest of her days eating flies and sitting on a lily pad at the whim of a wizard who could read her mind.

"I'm not a demon you know," Sephi remarked, stopping Tifa's fear filled thoughts on the future. Before Tifa could answer, another voice rang out.

"Release her Sephi!" The wizard turned towards the voice and saw Elera by one of the torches. But that wasn't what made his eyes go wide. No, that was due to what was held in her left hand, inches from the flames.

"Mr. Quacky! Alright, alright, I'll let her go. Now let's not do anything hasty Elera," Sephi said, holding up both his hands. Tifa plopped to the ground and hopped towards Elera.

"Turn her back to normal or the duck burns," the blond threatened. Sephi nodded and with a wave of his hand Tifa was back to normal, fully clothed. A fly buzzed through the air and Tifa's tongue snaked out of her mouth to grab it, reeling the insect into her open mouth. As she was eating it, Tifa glared at the wizard.

"Change me all the way back!"

"I can't. The potion that changed you was one of mine. It's not that easy to break. Eventually your symptoms should cease." Tifa groaned in annoyance.

What would Reno think of a girlfriend who ate flies?

"Can you send me and Reno back home?" Tifa asked. Elera lowered Mr. Quacky a bit more and Sephi nodded even faster.

"Yes, I'll provide you with the means to leave. Just let Mr. Quacky go, please!" Elera removed the rubber duck from the fire's grasp and walked towards Sephi. Once the wizard had his toy back safely he cuddled with it for a moment before looking at the two women. Closing his eyes, he said an incantation and the two vanished in a plume of fire.

"Master, are you going to trick them?" Aeris asked, licking her paws. Sephi shook his head and sat back down on his throne.

"No, for I am a wizard of my word." Aeris nodded and jumped onto his lap once more. "And I suppose it's time for dinner eh?" Aeris purred in agreement and Sephi smiled.

He had Mr. Quacky back and all was well in the world.

* * *

Yufia and Reno were arguing when Tifa and Elera suddenly appeared before them.

"Tifa!"

"Elera!" The next thing either woman knew they were being hugged tightly.

"Are you free of your curse Elera?" The blond nodded and hugged her sister back.

"Yes and it was thanks to Tifa here." The two sisters waited until Reno and Tifa had parted before walking up to them.

"I can't thank you enough," Elera said.

"Don't mention RIBBIT it," Tifa replied, hand covering her mouth at the noise that had escaped. Her shoulders slumped but the barmaid was instantly hugged by Reno.

"I still love you babe, no matter what," Reno whispered. Tifa smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thanks...and I've found a way home."

"How's that?" Reno asked. White light soon sprang into being and when it vanished there were a pair of hammers with a piece of paper covering them.

HIT ON HEAD TO LEAVE

"Are you sure you can trust that wizard?" Yufia asked.

"He sent us back here didn't he?" Elera rebutted.

Reno and Tifa looked at each other.

"I'll go first," Reno said. Tifa nodded and the Turk picked up the hammer, giving a solid thwack to the side of his head. He vanished in an instant along with the hammer. As Tifa picked up her own hammer, she turned to the two sisters.

"Even though you two kidnapped us and forced me on a crazy journey, it was nice to know you."

"Just leave before I start crying!" Yufia said. Elera patted her on the back and smiled at Tifa.

"Thanks for all your aid and I wish the both of you happiness," Elera said.

"Likewise," the fighter replied. And with a pound to the head, Tifa vanished.

* * *

Brown eyes blinked rapidly before opening completely. Sitting up, Tifa looked around. She was on her living room floor, Reno looking at her with a smirk on his face.

"Looks like we're back." Tifa nodded and kissed him deep on the lips. A buzzing came to her ears a moment later and she broke apart from her boyfriend. Tongue stretching out, she snagged the fly and quickly swallowed it. Turning a sheepish gaze to Reno, she blushed fiercely.

His jaw was dropped.

"Reno...you okay?" Reno blinked a bit before nodding.

"I'm fine...but that was pretty damn weird."

"They actually taste really good," Tifa commented.

"Please tell me this will wear off," Reno said.

"That's what the wizard said." Reno gave a sigh of relief at that and Tifa's eyes narrowed. "I thought you said you loved me no matter what?"

"I do it's just when you're eating flies it kind of breaks the mood, you know?" Tifa didn't respond right away, looking to the floor instead. When she did glance back to Reno, a devilish smile lit up her face.

"You know maybe I should give you another kiss," Tifa murmured. Reno stood up and started backing away at that.

"Tifa...you just ate a fly and- but she leaped after him and the Turk had no choice but to retreat. "I don't want to find out what a fly tastes like!"

And as Tifa chased Reno, neither noticed the slip of paper that suddenly appeared on the counter.

COME BACK ANYTIME


End file.
